The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part 31

[Enriquespy]

But are coffee dates in the morning ir the afternoon?

 

[Erzengel]

People can drink coffee anytime. The purpose of getting coffee is it's not as long as a meal. It's the meeting up that's important to gauge interest/chemistry.

 

[InCali]

If a gal says she is interested in getting coffee with you, how many months is it ok to wait before you ask her out for that coffee?

Also, and more importantly:

At what time are coffee dates? Afternoon? lunch time? evening?

I dunno.

I would wait less than 5 seconds.

Other Person: We should have coffee sometime.
Me: That sounds great. What's a good time for you?

When we meet up, I have an orange juice instead because I don't like beverages that taste like dirt.

 

[MissMarvelous]

I don't like beverages that taste like dirt.

 

[InCali]

Hey, you're kind of cute. We should go out for bananas sometime.

 

[MissMarvelous]

Hey, you're kind of cute. We should go out for bananas sometime.

So that you can order pineapples?

You don't like sugar, you don't like chocolate, you don't like coffee, you don't like Hawaiian pizza... You're kind of a hater, you know? But ok...

 

[Prison Mike]

Hey, you're kind of cute. We should go out for bananas sometime.

You should two should grab drinks at the monkey bar

 

[Wolvieboy17]

If someone expresses interest in getting coffee with you, there's no reason to wait unless you don't want to haha. And as far as picking morning or arvo, if you're flexible then based it around what works for them. Nice way to be thoughtful and accomodating to their schedule.

 

[Enriquespy]

My dudes.

She said yes.

 

[Erzengel]

She probably thought, it took him long enough.

 

[InCali]

My dudes.

She said yes.

Of course she did. People generally don't make a habit of essentially asking you out if they don't want to get to know you better. The only things waiting does is to make her wonder if you were interested and create stress for you.

Now just keep her away from the Hype Lounge......we don't want her reading some of your posts.

EDIT: And don't forget the "dudettes". CC and MM in particular.

 

[KALEL114]

Dating in your 40's is absolutely brutal my peeps. Never thought I would be here, yet here I am.

 

[spiderman2]

Dating in your 40's is absolutely brutal my peeps. Never thought I would be here, yet here I am.

Hear people say that but I almost fell like 40s would be easier than 30s because in 30s ever one is married lol.

 

[MissMarvelous]

Of course she did. People generally don't make a habit of essentially asking you out if they don't want to get to know you better. The only things waiting does is to make her wonder if you were interested and create stress for you.

Now just keep her away from the Hype Lounge......we don't want her reading some of your posts.

EDIT: And don't forget the "dudettes". CC and MM in particular.

Oh, but i didn't say anything! He did it by himself.

Hope we get nice updates soon!!!

 

[Enriquespy]

UPDATE! It ended up being rescheduled because of an unexpected job thing of hers. I think I'll try to see if she can again one of these weekends. I dunno if it's too soon or too late its, just been a month since.

 

[InCali]

UPDATE! It ended up being rescheduled because of an unexpected job thing of hers. I think I'll try to see if she can again one of these weekends. I dunno if it's too soon or too late its, just been a month since.

Did she go into any detail about the "thing"? If so, show some interest. I'm always interested in important things that others are experiencing so my first reaction is usually something like (assuming it's a good "thing") "Wow. That's great." talk about her situation and then I would just say "Well, let's figure out another time. What works for you?" Maybe you work something out then and there. If she says she doesn't know because, etc., etc., etc., I'd just say "OK. Well, give me a call when you have some time".

You've shown interest, you aren't being pushy, and the ball is in her court.

I know this approach might not work for everyone, but it's always worked for me.

 

[Enriquespy]

We did talk about the thing!!!! Someone died! So that wasn't very a very date conductive chat as you can imagine.

 

[InCali]

We did talk about the thing!!!! Someone died! So that wasn't very a very date conductive chat as you can imagine.

Oh man.....that's harsh. When you said "job thing", I went to a big meeting or trip or something like that. Yeah, don't listen to me. In that case, I would just have said "Oh no. I'm really, really sorry to hear that. If you want to talk, just give me a ring." Man, I don't even know the person and I'm really sorry to hear that.

I was just thinking about this thread and something occurred to me. I rarely got stressed when asking people out; partially because I rarely was looking for a relationship when it came to 1st dates. I mainly wanted to get to know someone so if they said no, it wasn't a big deal. I think I've mentioned before that I've almost never been in a relationship before knowing someone for at least a month or so. I mean, there's been people who hit me up for one night stands, but that doesn't really count. On the rare occasion when I was really interested in someone right off the bat, what I usually did was invite her and a good friend of hers to dinner at my house. I think it created a less threatening atmosphere if the person was not sure they really liked me that much or not.

 

[Enriquespy]

Some closure for y'all:

The coffee thing happened!

It was a successful thing, as in getting to have a nice conversation and stuff.
I guess time will tell if anything comes out of it.

Thanks for all the tips.

 

[Wolvieboy17]

Some closure for y'all:

The coffee thing happened!

It was a successful thing, as in getting to have a nice conversation and stuff.
I guess time will tell if anything comes out of it.

Thanks for all the tips.

Happy to hear it! If it was nice and pleasant, don't be afraid to plan another thing or express interest. She may be waiting to see what your next move is too, so don't wait too long yourself! All the best with it

 

[Enriquespy]

Happy to hear it! If it was nice and pleasant, don't be afraid to plan another thing or express interest. She may be waiting to see what your next move is too, so don't wait too long yourself! All the best with it

Ok, less than six months this time.

 

[InCali]

Some closure for y'all:

The coffee thing happened!

It was a successful thing, as in getting to have a nice conversation and stuff.
I guess time will tell if anything comes out of it.

Thanks for all the tips.

Never, ever hold back from telling someone how much you enjoyed their company/conversation and let them know that you'd like to meet up again.

If I enjoyed someone's company, I would always say something along the lines of "I really enjoyed talking to you and getting to know you a little bit better. If you'd like, let's make a day of it next time and find something fun to do along with lunch. What do you think?" I was always one to ask beforehand, but I suppose it's not necessary.

Picnics are always fun. I usually bring along a bottle of wine or something like that, but not everyone drinks alcohol. When I first met my wife, I asked her if she wanted to go up to Napa Valley for the day and go wine tasting. I packed a nice lunch with crackers, breads, cheeses, various olives, cured meats, etc. We didn't have to worry about bringing the wine, but we choose the wine we wanted for lunch and sat under a big, shady tree at one of the wineries and just blabbed for over an hour. A fun trip.

 

[Hobgoblin]

I just got a haircut from a really nice girl. She even gave a me a hair wash on the house. She even apologized a few times for not getting the door for me since someone had just called the shop. It’s been raining. I think I’ll go back and give her my number.


Or is that not a good thing to do in front of her coworkers and any potential customers?

 

[Erzengel]

I wouldn't do it in front of anyone. Also, look at her area, make sure there aren't any pictures of a so. Obviously, also if you didn't see a ring.

 

[InCali]

I just got a haircut from a really nice girl. She even gave a me a hair wash on the house. She even apologized a few times for not getting the door for me since someone had just called the shop. It’s been raining. I think I’ll go back and give her my number.


Or is that not a good thing to do in front of her coworkers and any potential customers?

Why not give a call? There are a lot of nice people out there who are just nice for the sake of being nice and I think showing up might be somewhat intimidating. I would probably just tell her that you appreciated her being so considerate and ask if she wanted to meet for coffee or something like that. I think she'd feel more comfortable in a non-face-to-face meeting.