webhead9707
Dr. Perky
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- Oct 15, 2007
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What do you mean?
Whenever you're having issues like that, just accept the fact that it's part of being friends with her and things will get better eventually.
What do you mean?
A former classmate and I have been talking to each other quite a bit lately. She have a mutual attraction, feel comfortable with each other and have similar interests. Those three things right there are a rarity for me.
We have some big hurdles too. She left her fiance in the summer when she found out he cheated on her while overseas. Her mother used to beat her when she was younger and her brother was murdered. She sees a therapist but has told me that she lies to her about her drinking. There is also some racial tension, at least if we get into a long term relationship. She is black and from the west side of Chicago and I'm a white guy from the far suburbs.
We've had some fascinating discussions about race and respect each other for our honesty. But the mixed race relationship seems seems like it could be even harder than the usual.
Do both of you have reservations about each others ethnicity? Or is this racial tension going to come from your respective sides of the family?
Btw, kudos to sticking with this. At the end of the day, we're all f***ed up in different ways anyway you cut it. I know that I feel even I would have had reservations at first if she dropped that information on me.
Why would the mixed race race aspect be in an issue?
I'd actually be more worried about her drinking if she has a problem with that.
Hyde, are you sure this friendship that you think is close is only close to you?
Whenever you're having issues like that, just accept the fact that it's part of being friends with her and things will get better eventually.
Sounds good.Few months ago, I wrote on here about delivering to a store and a woman at another business offered me a water and seemed friendly and what not. She yelled at me from a distance as she sat outside hers and just enjoyed the weather and watching me work. I wrote how I blew it by not accepting a drink and getting to know her better. Today I delivered in the area again. She was doing the same enjoying the weather. I initiated conversation stating how hard it was to deliver and she agreed. A couple minutes later I left and got to work not wanting conversation to stall. It rained she went inside. As I went to my truck she went in the same direction, I stated "perfect' mentioning the rain. She laughed and said, I know right couldn't wait 30 minutes. She got out the rain, and I let her even though I wanted to properly introduce myself. I wanted to ask her out then and there, but thought another time when I deliver there would be better. What do you all think, I believe she is just a friendly person. Next time though I will get more personal, ya dig.
That people just shut you out with no warning?That's not it. She's always said I'm one of her best friends, and that I'm better than every other guy she knows etc etc. Plus we've basically shared everything with each other before, even as far as her saying when it's "that time of the month" so I know why she might be stroppy that day (kinda weird I know ).
But it's only a recent development, that's the thing that bothers me. Before a few weeks ago this issue never came up and she'd always come to me first if she was upset.
I'm hoping your right about things getting better.. They will, it's just I'm tired of things like this always happening to me.
That people just shut you out with no warning?
It also could be her thing. I have a friend who refuses to tell us what's bothering her, because she hates accepting help. It can be really minor, but she won't want to bother anyone with it. Sometimes you just can't push it.
Sounds good.
Remember, women are not that scary. We're just people too. Treat us like people, and that you're genuinely interested in us, and it should good.
Remember, women are not that scary. We're just people too. Treat us like people, and that you're genuinely interested in us, and it should good.
Y'alls are still so young. You'll experience rejection soon, even if it's not necessarily romantic.They can be. There are actually quite a few *****ey girls, like the ones Nell knows.
Plus, even friendly rejection (which is very common) sucks. I have a really big fear of rejection, which leads to me being really awkward around males until I get to know them and we have a platonic relationship. So when people are scared of approaching the opposite sex I can understand why.
We don't bite, is my point.*cough*
We don't bite, is my point.
Y'alls are still so young. You'll experience rejection soon, even if it's not necessarily romantic.
Ugh, so I went three weeks without a drink... And then last night I had one.
Was such a stressful week at work, and I'd said no so many times, but friday I just needed the release.
Me and a couple of work mates went out, and it ended up just me and this guy who I've liked since I started the job.
He's a bit older, late 30s, and has a couple of kids. He's with their mother, but we got talking and he confessed how unhappy he's been lately, she's cheated on him, and they are only together for the kids.
I talked it all through with him, and told him staying with her wasn't good for the kids cause it'd end up ending badly eventually and it's always better to just be honest rather than faking it and resenting it all the time.
And then he started telling me that he'd always liked me, and tried to kiss me.
I said no I wasn't that girl, because he's still with her. But he kept trying throughout the night and eventually I caved and kissed him a couple of times.
When we got back to mine cause I said he could stay rather than doing the long journey home that late. And I stupidly said okay to him sleeping in my bed as long as we were just sleeping, cause I was really drunk by this point and half falling asleep as it was.
Unfortunately, drunk men are *****. As I'm falling asleep, I can feel him try to undress me. I tell him to stop it and just go to sleep. Few mins later he tries again. At which point I tell him to get the f out of my bed.
He was gone when I woke up, and I haven't heard anything from him. No idea if he will even remember it.
Thing is, I know he's a good guy. He's the kind of guy who always makes sure people get home safe. He's kind when people are upset. He makes effort to help people at work who are struggling.
It's just booze. It's ****. It's such an ugly drug. People make bad choices and do bad stuff.
But oh well. Back to square one. Hopefully this time I'll make it longer than 3 weeks. Cause I was genuinely feeling so good about myself for showing will power and getting back my sense of integrity.
Ugh, so I went three weeks without a drink... And then last night I had one.
Was such a stressful week at work, and I'd said no so many times, but friday I just needed the release.
Me and a couple of work mates went out, and it ended up just me and this guy who I've liked since I started the job.
He's a bit older, late 30s, and has a couple of kids. He's with their mother, but we got talking and he confessed how unhappy he's been lately, she's cheated on him, and they are only together for the kids.
I talked it all through with him, and told him staying with her wasn't good for the kids cause it'd end up ending badly eventually and it's always better to just be honest rather than faking it and resenting it all the time.
And then he started telling me that he'd always liked me, and tried to kiss me.
I said no I wasn't that girl, because he's still with her. But he kept trying throughout the night and eventually I caved and kissed him a couple of times.
When we got back to mine cause I said he could stay rather than doing the long journey home that late. And I stupidly said okay to him sleeping in my bed as long as we were just sleeping, cause I was really drunk by this point and half falling asleep as it was.
Unfortunately, drunk men are *****. As I'm falling asleep, I can feel him try to undress me. I tell him to stop it and just go to sleep. Few mins later he tries again. At which point I tell him to get the f out of my bed.
He was gone when I woke up, and I haven't heard anything from him. No idea if he will even remember it.
Thing is, I know he's a good guy. He's the kind of guy who always makes sure people get home safe. He's kind when people are upset. He makes effort to help people at work who are struggling.
It's just booze. It's ****. It's such an ugly drug. People make bad choices and do bad stuff.
But oh well. Back to square one. Hopefully this time I'll make it longer than 3 weeks. Cause I was genuinely feeling so good about myself for showing will power and getting back my sense of integrity.
It was great that you still rejected him while you were drunk, especially since you've liked him for long.
Out of curiosity how drunk did you get?
He was out of line, but I think you could have made wiser decisions as well. I don't think it was very smart to A) let him stay the night and B) let him sleep in your bed. You were saying one thing with your words, but you were telling him something else with your actions, and considering he admitted to being unhappy in his marriage as well as having a thing for you on top of you listening to him unload and then kissing him earlier in the night, that had to be some seriously mixed signals in his mind. I can't say I wouldn't have given it a shot once I hit the bed. I probably wouldn't go for undressing, but still.
Are you not going to apply to college or a job? Those are the big ones you have yet to experience.True, I have been avoiding situations where there's a possibility of rejection so far......
I would agree that both showed poor judgment, but the first time he tried and she said no, he shouldn't have tried a second time.