Attack of the *Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[Golgo-13]

I posted my situation a montn or so back but ......

It's been 3 months since i quit my job, because i thought i was falling in love with my co-worker; i'm married. After 3 months i thought at least the feelings would subside. They haven't. I was hoping it was just a strong crush/attraction that i had for this woman, but after 3 months i'm beginning to think other wise...

 

[Anita18]

I posted my situation a montn or so back but ......

It's been 3 months since i quit my job, because i thought i was falling in love with my co-worker; i'm married. After 3 months i thought at least the feelings would subside. They haven't. I was hoping it was just a strong crush/attraction that i had for this woman, but after 3 months i'm beginning to think other wise...

Well have you been seeing or talking with this coworker at all? Or at least tried something new in the marriage?

3 months straight without seeing or talking to someone you're not in a relationship with and pining after them anyway just seems really unusual to me.

 

[Anubis]

It sometimes takes longer for others.

Everybodies not a love camel.

 

[Hound55]

Where I live is immaterial. It's more or less been implied by a sexist minority that since I am a voluptuous sized woman I should not have a sex life with skinny, attractive men.

I'm not missing something am I?

I don't frequent the Post Pics of Yourself thread but I don't think anyone was implying that because I don't think anyone could possibly know what you look like.

I think people mostly took issue with the fact that your post came across as overtly racist. Obviously everyone has their own preferences in terms of what they find attractive, but most people don't put a total embargo on their loins based on a specific race or complain because of flirtation which comes from a race which you find less attractive.

Incidentally, how are hispanic people at large supposed to know that flirting with you is out of bounds?

 

[Golgo-13]

Well have you been seeing or talking with this coworker at all? Or at least tried something new in the marriage?

3 months straight without seeing or talking to someone you're not in a relationship with and pining after them anyway just seems really unusual to me.

I've had absolutely no contact with this co-worker in any shape or form. Can't shake the feeling though...

 

[DoomsdayApex]

Trouble men. I need advice and/or feedback.

Ok, Is anyone here aware of Barney's Platinium Rule?

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Platinum_Rule_(How_I_Met_Your_Mother)

[YT]hYLg92o_Gj0[/YT]

Apparently, I've grown incredibly attracted to a red head hostess from a local bar. Now, I'm hot and I'm awesome, but I've never dared to talk to this beautiful voluptuous fair-skinned babe because I dread the risks... of losing my favorite Fight Night spot. Any advice?

 

[WillardNation]

Do it. If it turns out bad, get her fired.

 

[AgentZero]

I posted my situation a montn or so back but ......

It's been 3 months since i quit my job, because i thought i was falling in love with my co-worker; i'm married. After 3 months i thought at least the feelings would subside. They haven't. I was hoping it was just a strong crush/attraction that i had for this woman, but after 3 months i'm beginning to think other wise...

Try to take some vacations. Go to another country with your wife !!! I think you need to step out of your daily routines.

 

[bullets]

Apparently, I've grown incredibly attracted to a red head hostess from a local bar. Now, I'm hot and I'm awesome, but I've never dared to talk to this beautiful voluptuous fair-skinned babe because I dread the risks... of losing my favorite Fight Night spot. Any advice?

She's hot and red headed . It's definitely worth the risk.

 

[Godzilla2000]

Well, I suppose this dream is relationship related as I've been searching for an intelligent, understanding, patient, kind, gentle man but finding nothing but Yankee wearing Chavs. But my dream...

I dreamed a wonderful dream today when I was taking a nap before work. It's a quite simple one actually. I'm in an eatery somewhere locally all dolled up and I'm with this very attractive, well dressed, man. Where we were sitting we could barely hear each other speaking and he asks me calmly if we should move to a quieter seating arrangement, so we both mutually agree to go to a table in the corner where it was dimly lit, which really brought out his wonderful, light colored eyes. It was a dream full of warm and fuzzy feelings. My take is that it has less to do with actual events and more to do with how I feel in general. I crave a man who can just accept me as I am and can accommodate what makes me feel comfortable. But I can tell you truthfully men with these sorts of qualities do not exist here where I live.

I posted my situation a montn or so back but ......

It's been 3 months since i quit my job, because i thought i was falling in love with my co-worker; i'm married. After 3 months i thought at least the feelings would subside. They haven't. I was hoping it was just a strong crush/attraction that i had for this woman, but after 3 months i'm beginning to think other wise...

Well, I say just resist the temptation. What's wrong with your wife that you can't have gratifying sex with her? Marriage isn't something you should just take for granted. In order to keep the spark going you have to be creative. If you wanted to mess around with other girls you shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. Really I don't understand this sort of irresponsible behavior. If I was married to that good looking guy from my dreams I'd be beating off all the other guys with a blunt instrument who tried to mess up a good thing for me. It would take me this long to find that truly special, supportive guy whom I know I can have sex with anytime I want. Why the hell would I want to trade that stability in for meaningless sex?

 

[AndThePickles]

I posted my situation a montn or so back but ......

It's been 3 months since i quit my job, because i thought i was falling in love with my co-worker; i'm married. After 3 months i thought at least the feelings would subside. They haven't. I was hoping it was just a strong crush/attraction that i had for this woman, but after 3 months i'm beginning to think other wise...

It sounds like at this point, you really need to ask yourself if you are truly happy/satisfied in your marriage. It sounds like there's something unfulfilled for you. Every relationship takes work, and I think that it's human to still find others attractive, but it sounds like things are deeper than mere attraction for you.

 

[SpideyVille]

I know this was suggested a while ago, but I suggest you actually talk to your wife. It`s risky but part of the reason why you still think about this woman is because she either highlighted some flaws in your wife that you never noticed before even though you say they are very similar, or because as much as you love your wife, she may not be fulfilling certain needs of yours both sexually and non-sexually that just keep making you think back to this other woman. I`m saying it will be an easy conversation but communication is very key in maintaining a healthy relationship and, in a situation like this, your wife should be there with you to help you sort out these feelings and thoughts.

 

[Polaris23]

SpideyVille, any update on your situation?

 

[DBryan]

Golgo, give it more time.

 

[SpideyVille]

SpideyVille, any update on your situation?

Not really. I was supposed to go to my friend`s job on Friday but she told me it was a bad day to go since she was working the cash register and wouldn`t really be able to leave to introduce me to her friend. But I will hopefully be going there today since she had the day off yesterday.

 

[Casius--J]

I posted my situation a montn or so back but ......

It's been 3 months since i quit my job, because i thought i was falling in love with my co-worker; i'm married. After 3 months i thought at least the feelings would subside. They haven't. I was hoping it was just a strong crush/attraction that i had for this woman, but after 3 months i'm beginning to think other wise...

I saw this in the movie "Why did I get married?" and I thought it was a great example. I hope this will be of help for you.

80/20 Rule - Good One
Interesting quote from the movie 'Why did I get married?'



In most cases, especially in relationships, you will
only get 80% of what you NEED and you will hardly get the other 20% that
you WANT in your relationship. There is always another person (man or
women) that you will meet and that will offer you the other 20% which is
lacking in your relationship that you WANT. And believe me, 20% looks
really good when you are not getting it at all in your current
relationship.


But the problem is that you will always be tempted to
leave that good 80% that you know you have, thinking that you will get
something better with the other 20% that you WANT.


But as reality has proven, in most cases, you will
always end up with having the 20% that you WANT and loosing the 80% that
you really NEED and that you already had.


Be careful in deciding between what you WANT and NEED
in your life.

 

[SpideyVille]

So my friend`s friend called in sick, so looks I won`t be meeting her today either. It looks like I`m going to have to settle for going out as a group and working from there, which I just don`t have a good feeling about since I`m never comfortable in groups.

 

[Golgo-13]

Well, I say just resist the temptation. What's wrong with your wife that you can't have gratifying sex with her? Marriage isn't something you should just take for granted. In order to keep the spark going you have to be creative. If you wanted to mess around with other girls you shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. Really I don't understand this sort of irresponsible behavior. If I was married to that good looking guy from my dreams I'd be beating off all the other guys with a blunt instrument who tried to mess up a good thing for me. It would take me this long to find that truly special, supportive guy whom I know I can have sex with anytime I want. Why the hell would I want to trade that stability in for meaningless sex?

I really do appreciated all the advice guys.

Those that are saying it's a sex thing; it's not. In fact i hardly think of this other woman in a sexaul way (even though she's very attractive); it's more so her company. We had great, long conversations. The chemistry in that department was sssssoooooo stimulating, that sex would have paled in comparison! I mean that. That's how i know it's not just a case of lust, and "i wanna hit dat!", it's deeper....

 

[AndThePickles]

That "why did I get married?" quote makes an excellent point. Golgo, do you think you may be feeling this way because this is the first time that you've experienced extreme temptation outside of your marriage?

I would tread very carefully when it comes to potentially telling your wife. Can you see the situation being resolved if you talk it out with her? If so, it's worth having the conversation. If not, and you aren't actually planning to cheat on your wife, you are going to rip her world apart. She will be hurt and she will likely lose a lot of trust in you. It's a tough call to make.

 

[Golgo-13]

She's definately not the first temptation. Like we all know, you're always going to come acroos people that you find attractive.The other temptations were more lustful temptations, which quicky disappeared after i stood firm and realised it wasn't worth it. This is diiferent....


The best way i can describe this other woman is that, talking to her is like talking to myself. I've never met another person, of the opposite sex, that is just like me. I swear; we're like the male and female version of the same person! That's why i feel the connection. I would be more than happy never having sex with this woman..ever. She just genuiely feels like my other half.

 

[WillardNation]

If it's not sexual at all, you could very well just be really good friends with her and never even cheat on your wife, no?

 

[enterthemadness]

Sooooooo....my first date in a..while went well. Lasted about a hour...she did most of talking. I just asked questions to start conversation. Um...it went well, about an hour after date I asked her if she's free this upcoming weekend for a second date. No response yet...but she's a busy woman, so I dunno if she will agree to second date. Like it went well, but we didn't hug or anything. I may already be friendzoned. Anyhoo...what got me a bit mad...

A employee at the coffee shop called my niece saying I was talking to a girl. >_< how rude. I didn't want family knowing about date. Niece even called me during date but I didn't answer. I told her not to tell my parents...it's just a date. And my parents are gonna throw a fit with me even going out with a 33 year old woman, who is divorced and has a kid. Rather I go out with her again, at least I got some dating practice under my belt. Last woman I went out with..was in 2009...and she was high. Probably had a shot at making out with her, but felt it wouldn't be right. And I just wasn't interested in dating her. Like...not even 6 months before hand she was engaged...but now I'm ranting like usual. Ranting ETM.

And I'm glad she(date in 09) didn't get pulled over. She had weed on her.

 

[Anubis]

I saw this in the movie "Why did I get married?" and I thought it was a great example. I hope this will be of help for you.

That's why relationships would be so much easier if we abandoned the couple and went with the quad.

 

[Frodo]

That's why relationships would be so much easier if we abandoned the couple and went with the quad.

Problem is , though with a quad ,it youve got to deal with 3 pairs of in-laws, assuming its a commited quad.

 

[Anubis]

Eh, there's a good chance two of the in-laws will have disowned their kids for swinging.